“We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”

T.S. Eliot

I’ve noticed this happen to me after traveling somewhere.

Live as if you had a choice.

These words poppoed into my head this morning as I was driving to my office. I’m not exactly sure where I’ve read them or heard them. I like to give credit, even though many of these thoughts and memes are like so many molecules that are being passed from generation to generation over the centuries.

Live as if you had a choice.

It really speaks to me about intentional living. About living on purpose, with meaning, with a sense of control.

It’s not some Western uber-control sort of message like “get control of your life” or “do thest 20 tasks.”

It sounds to me more artistic than scientific, more accepting than directing, more open than closed.

Live as if you had a choice.

“Choice” in itself implies that we’re taking some conscious action. With “as if you had a choice” it lets you push the pause button on wondering whether we do or don’t have a choice, and on getting stuck analyzing what sorts of choices we may or may not have in our lives.

It also reminds me of the presumptive close, a sales technique where the salesperson operates on the assumption that the sale is going to go through. Okay, this is a sales technique which is not entirely effective, yet it changes the posture of the relationship between salesperson and client.

Posture – yes, that’s it. “Live as if” is about posture, about stance, about leaning into the wind regardless of how hard or which direction it may be blowing. This maxim isn’t saying to deny reality and simply hope, it speaks to assuming control, direction, and choice.

Live as if you had a choice.

I’m going to try it. Why don’t you try it, too, and let me know if anything is different with this stance.

In the Life of Pi, Pi sums his predicament up pretty well:

“I was alone and orphaned, in the middle of the Pacific, hanging on to an oar, and adult tiger in front of me, sharks beneath me, a storm raging about me. Had I considered my prospects in the light of reason, I surely would have let go of the oar, hoping that I might drown before being eaten. But I don’t recall that I had a single thought during those first minutes of relative safety. I didn’t even notice daybreak. I held on to the oar, I just held on, God only knows why.”

This reminds me of the old Buddhist story of the monk and the tiger. (Is it always a tiger?) A monk out walking encounters a tiger who begins to chase him. The monk manages to escape being eaten by climbing out to the edge of a cliff. Hanging on to a weaking tree branch, with hungry tiger above and certain death below, the monk notices some strawberries growing on the cliff. His reaction? To enjoy the strawberries – what else? MMMM! Enjoy the moment, since, after all, we’re only here for a short time.

When was the last time someone taught you how to dress and undress – in public?

Oh, and did they teach you how to change quickly!?

I just got back from a transition clinic. No, not a clinic like with doctors and nurses and stethescopes and stuff. It was a clinic as in a hands-on training session. And it was about special kinds of transitions – the transitions between sports in triathlons.

It was a triathlon transition clinic taught by pro triathlete Jim Vance.

It was about learning how to master the switch from swimming to cycling, and then from cycling to running. While transitions may seem simple enough, many athletes forget how long it can take to peel off a wetsuit and get wet feet into dry shoes. In multi-sport events like triathlons, the total race time includes the minutes and seconds between sports.

More importantly, struggling during the transitions takes away energy. Putting up resistance against some sticky swim cap can lead to frustration. On the other hand, I’ve had a good laugh at myself when I got a little rattled and forgot to take off my swim goggles before trying to put on my bike helmet. Ha!

It’s just the same with life’s transitions.

Ask yourself, how many of the following transitions can you say you’ve mastered?

• Changing to a new career
• Ending a long-time relationship
• Starting a new relationship
• Moving to a new house
• Moving to a new city, or country
• Dealing with an accident or long-term illness

I’m on the lookout for more ways to be more present and involved with all my life transitions.

I remember reading once somewhere about how differently we might act if we thought we were being televised. Some of us might just rise to the occasion and show a little style and grace, even when doing something as unglamorous as trying to catch a bus.

The three words I’ve been trying to keep before me during transitions: grace, style, and awareness. I’m finding that these help me focus on the moment in a way that leads me closer to mastery of the moment.

Learning how to master transitions in life with style, grace, and awareness makes all the difference.

What works for you?

MORE HASTE – Inscription for a monument at the crossroads.

Here lies, extinguished in his prime,
a victim of modernity:
but yesterday he hadn’t the time –
and now he has eternity.

Piet Hein – Grooks

Doesn’t he just put this into perspective? It makes you wonder what was so darn important that made that driver rush into his infinite rest.

Next time you’re driving and the light turns yellow and then red, try easing up on the gas and just letting that light go. Ease up a bit once in awhile, and see if it makes a difference.

Just keep goin’ on.
Just keep goin’ on.
Take every knock as a boost, every stumblin’ stock as a stepping stone.
Lift up your head and hold your own, and just keep goin’ on.

Eric Bibb & Needed Time

 

I heard a song not too long ago. One line is: ”When life gives you lemons, figure out how to make lemonade out of that shit.”

Yeah, like the bumper sticker says: “Shit happens”.

All the time, things are happening, and some things that happen we may not like. We may not have expected it, or it something we expected and don’t like. It may simply be making us uncomfortable.

Still, things happen.

When things happen, I’m finding it interesting to look at my reaction, and also how other people react when things happen to them.

It’s really taught me a lot about perseverance.

I’ve learned a lot about creativity, inventiveness, and acceptance, too.

Some years ago, I volunteered in a triathlon.

I was helping in the first event of the race, where the swimmers get out of the water.

I noticed a man standing behind me, holding a bicycle and apparently wearing triathlon racing gear. Between helping swimmers, I asked the man why he wasn’t competing. He answered, rather sadly, “No. I forgot my shoes.“

After all the swimmers were out of the water, I moved over to help the end of the third event – the runners.

I noticed that one of first few runners to finish was barefoot. I asked this guy if he always ran barefoot. He said, “No, I forgot my shoes.“

I was amazed at the difference in spirit between these two guys.

The first forgetful guy, limply holding his dereilleur, stood at the sidelines, suffering from his setback.

The second forgetful guy, tried something new, and still managed to finish in the top 10.

I’ve remembered both guys often over the years, and try to choose the acceptance and spirit of fun and perseverance of the barefoot runner.

in time of daffodils
(who know the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why,
remember how

in time of lilacs who proclaim
the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so
(forgetting seem)

in time of roses
(who amaze our now and here with paradise)
forgetting if,
remember yes

in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek
(forgetting find)

and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me,
remember me

e.e. cummings

A WORD TO THE WISE

Let the world pass in its time-ridden race;
       never get caught in its snare.
Remember, the only acceptable case
for being in any particular place
       is having no business there.

- Piet Hein (Grooks)

This seems as much about not being ridden by time as not being bound by convention.  It’s about acting as your own authority and being present to what’s in front of you.

I’ve found many times that when I feel out of my usual place, it can feel both uncomfortable and refreshing at the same time. Comfort can lull me into a fake sense of security which ends up being uncomfortable because I find myself trying to stick to past comfort instead of being connected to what’s real at that moment.

The Thirteenth Mindfulness Training: Generosity

This is from the fourteen mindfulness trainings from Thich Nhat Hanh, also called Thay. You can see them and more related information on the Deer Park Monastery website.

http://www.deerparkmonastery.org/mindfulness-practice/the-fourteen-mindfulness-trainings or here: http://www.mindfulnessbell.org/14trainings.htm

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but will try to prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.

“In and out…
up and down….
over and over….
she wove her strands of her life together….
patching hole after hole…
eventually she saw it was much more than the threads which gave her strength….
it was in the very act of weaving, itself, that she became strong.”

By Terri St. Cloud in her book “Honor Yourself” (page 48)